1 Do you know who I am? I'm Willow Pape/Dirk Diamonds, and I SAW you. You were CLEARLY hitting on my boyfriend/girlfriend in there! Well... ex... 2 There's NO WAY you just asked me that. I'm Willow Pape/Dirk Diamonds. Duh. And WHAT did you think you were doing? You were CLEARLY hitting on my boyfriend/girlfriend in there!
A So what if I did? B No, I wasn't...
A & B Whatever! I'm MUCH too famous to deal with you, gutter trash. Hashtag: ratchet.
You must be YourName! An absolute pleasure to meet you. I'm Simon Orsik, CTM Management: Celebrity... Creative... Talent... Manage... Group... ...don't ask me what it stands for because I can't remember! Kim's told me a lot about you and I was, of course, interested in anyone she recommends.
I'm told that you'd be worth my time, and I assume an eventual hefty 15 per cent - so here we are! Now, let's take a look at your head shots, your comp card..
No head shots? Well... luckily those aren't important - except that they are! You'll need to get those taken. A friend of mine over at PopGlam owes me a favor; head over there to get those done right now. I can't have my client NOT have head shots...
You'll take me on?
Call it a gut feeling, or maybe the indigestible Chinese I had last night; either way, I have a good, rumbling feeling about you.
A manager never tells... until the release of his best-selling memoir. And as my daughter would say: "YOLO." She's fourteen. Maybe you'll meet her someday. Anyway, head over to PopGlam for the headshots, then back here, so I can start getting you some work.
And one more thing: better put on some new clothing to impress the photographers and media! Try getting yourself some new duds.